First trimester, a third time around

The 1st trimester has always been the hardest of the three for me. The unrelenting nausea and fatigue of being awake make a daily nap not just a good-to-have. In fact, if I miss one, I’d feel almost unmoored and unable to function until I got a quick cat nap in. 

So I was nervous about our trip for many reasons, one of them being the difficulties of traveling so early into the pregnancy. My mom didn’t want me to go at all, so worried was she about not only the flight but the tiredness I’d feel traversing new cities with jet lagged kids in tow. In the Chinese culture, it’s taboo to travel the first three months, that you’re doing it at the risk of the pregnancy.

Unfortunately, the flights and accommodations were booked months ago. There’s no way I was skipping this.

But right before the trip, the nausea also started. And I thought, oh my God. What if I get this while on the flight? Will I be hurling into the paper bags the whole time? And, can you imagine how I’ll do in the humidity and heat with the morning sickness? The forecast didn’t look too bright.

But amazingly, for the most part, the nausea has been so little I’d say it’s nonexistent. It comes and goes once in a while. But it’s not something that stays with me the whole day like it usually does. And I definitely haven’t thrown up (so far anyway).

My energy has also been pretty great. I don’t really need a nap even when I’ve been walking hours with an 18 month old strapped to my chest. The difference in my usual fatigue levels at this point in the pregnancy is shocking. I keep thinking about how surreal it is that the morning sickness has been kept at bay this time around and how active we’ve been on this trip without being tired. It’s really remarkable.

This is not to say it’s all been smooth, though. I’ve been spotting for a week now, and it’s actually getting heavier. While the bleeding is normal and occurs in a lot of pregnancies, the recommendation is to see a doctor ASAP, especially since I’m cramping too. The two together is often an indication of a miscarriage. Since I’m abroad though, I figure I’ll wait til I get back. Not much to do unless I want to go to an ER. I mean, if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen. Besides, it’s too inconvenient for the boys to be hours without me while I’m at the hospital.

But with the bleeding + cramping, I’ve been thinking about the possibility of this pregnancy not coming to term and what that means for us as a family. The more I think about it, the more I’m leaning towards stopping and not trying for more and being ok with just two kids. CS is surprisingly more bummed about this than me.

In the meantime, we’re trying to keep the last part of this trip more low key to allow me more down time to rest.

Onwards and upwards!

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