It took the entire weekend.
But I’m starting to accept that we’re having another boy. It was a hard hit finding out that our first child was a boy, so I wasn’t expecting that this happening a second time would be so hard. But it was harder in fact than the first.
Part of it was feeling like this pregnancy’s been so DIFFERENT this time around. The nausea was stronger and lasted longer (not going away until I was well into my second trimester at 18 weeks). I had this constant bitter taste in my mouth and I’d gag and dry heave all day long. Hormonally, it felt different too. I was breaking out, my hair was falling out, and my sex drive, poof! disappeared. Physically, my waistline didn’t just shrink, it felt like it disappeared and I was constantly hungry, although I don’t want sweets like I did the first time around. With all these differences, I thought, surely this is because it’s a girl!
What I really didn’t expect, I suppose, was the feeling that I may never have a daughter, a reality that feels so wrong, something I never envisioned. The term mother-daughter always felt like a given. And yes, maybe I’m overreacting. But that is exactly the point. I mentally braced myself for this possibility. So the fact that I was still sighing and lamenting over it the entire weekend surprised me.
And while everyone is quick to point out that we can keep trying, I really didn’t want #3, if we choose to have it, to be such an emotional gamble. Three boys? My God. Where do I even begin? What would I do with a house full of boys?? Time will tell I suppose. For now, it’s baby steps.
I’m starting to see the good in all this. We can get another use out of everything we already got for Ollie, which in itself will save a lot of $$$. And maybe this one will look more like me, with curly hair perhaps. And we already know what it’s like to raise a boy, so a second time around should be easier too right? Who knows. It could be worse.
To see the unveiling, watch now: It’s a Boy