Parenthood is hard partially because relationships are hard. This is true especially when you have a child. I remember those first few weeks of infancy when I was so delirious with lack of sleep and sore boobs. I pitied anyone who was caught in my cross fire those days. I snapped at CS so many times through no fault of his own, that poor guy. But he took it like a boss. I really couldn’t imagine going through that and coming out sane on the other side with anyone else. And that’s why, when I see so many friends get into relationships these days because it’s “good enough”, I wonder, how are they going to make it through the trying times down the road with someone you just tolerate?
And yes, not all relationships will succeed. So it’s not surprising that the big D is starting to rear its ugly head in rapid succession these days. We’re at that age. Deaths and Divorces. But let’s cover the latter for now.
Relationships take work. I get that.
So, I wasn’t taken aback when we hit a rough patch recently. We weren’t on the same page. We were often not even in the same room. But it isn’t chaotic. It isn’t terrible. We aren’t mean to each other. Or dismissive or condescending or any of the other ways we used to be in this and other relationships. We’ve grown. Our relationship has matured. So when I found ourselves drifting, I didn’t panic. Even though I often thought, things are bad, things are so bad right now, I still knew we’d find our way back. And this is important. Because things like this? It’s inevitable. But it’s real. And where are we now? A few months since we’ve drifted, we’re starting to come together again. We’re working on it, and it’s gotten better. We’re starting to connect again. It hasn’t been easy. But it also hasn’t been devastating.
And I share this now because relationships aren’t perfect. It’s not all rosy. We don’t always get along. But it’s real. And we shouldn’t only share the side that’s perfect. Because that’s not real life.